It is with great sadness that I write this letter to inform you all that I will be leaving the JB and Sandy Morning Show after our final show on Friday. I had always assumed that I would do radio until they would no longer have me, but I may have come across the opportunity of a lifetime that I have to explore.
To those who know me, it would come as no surprise that I would choose to pursue this dream… for those of you who don’t know me, I’ll fill you in.
I have finally rounded up the funding to write, produce and direct a play about a Women’s Correctional Facility. Many of you know that this is a dream of mine… and it has to be done. I love women. I love prisons and therefore I love womens prisons.
It’s somewhat of a spoof on Women’s prison movies, but loosely based on reality. If you’ve ever seen any of the “Caged Heat” movies, picture them with more pillows, more lingerie, more shower scenes, more shanking and a lot of song and dance numbers.
This project has been in the works for over 10 years, but we have finally overcome some obstacles that have given our investors the confidence then needed.
A key to launching this project was securing top notch talent. As of Dec 1st, we have secured in writing the theatrical talents of Tina Yothers who you might recall from Family Ties or the movies Spunk: The Tonya Harding Story.
We have also secured the likes of the incredibly talented Mindy Cohn, most remembered for her role as Natalie on Facts of Life. It was hard to lure her away from her current voiceover work as Velma in the Scooby Doo direct to DVD voiceovers.
We also needed to secure a “pretty face” for the lead role of Janet, an honor roll student and captain of her University Cheerleading squad, who intentionally robbed a Fabrick Store so she could go behind bars to be reunited with her half sister that she hadn’t seen since they were three, who was put in prison for embezzling from her employer, the local Food Bank.
We expect rotating cameo’s as Janets cellmate from Rumor Willis (daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis), Jill Whelan, who played Vicky on the Love Boat, and Susan Hawk, who you might recall as the truck driver from the Chapera tribe on Survivor Borneo.
The play will also feature Whoopi Goldberg… She won’t act in the play but will be voted as the celebrity all the prisoners would like to visit most at the holiday social.
Another thing needed to launch this project. we have finally figured out a portable system to have running water in a theater atomosphere. Shower scenes are a crucial part of the womens prison culture and expected from theater goers. We have, with the help of Al Gore, finally figured out how to use the smallest amount of water, purify and it and recycle it for the next show. We thought we had this mastered, but had overlooked the quick turnaround need for matinee shows on weekends. With the help of some MIT students, we believe we can pull this off, even though we needed the water to run red with blood after a shower fight scene in the third act.
What put the project over the top is that I have finally gotten written commitments on the musical soundtrack. It will be written and performed by both Pat Benetar and Kenny G. We needed the musical styling of Kenny for the softer scenes, such as the shower or when Janet explores the love of another woman for the the first time. We wanted the explosiveness of Pat for that “get out of your seat, clap your hands sort of feel”, especially in the final scene where Janet finally get’s her long lost half sister out of solitary confinement, uses her cheerleading moves to vault her over the prison wall, only to die in a fire, started by a rival gang. We wanted the audience to leave shocked, exhausted, sad and also exchanging high fives in the parking lot.
I don’t want to give too much away. I hope that this play will eventually make it’s way to Broadway and then back to Austin where I can visit the Autumn and Sandy Show for a candid interview about the play showing at the Bass Concert Hall.
Oh, by the way, the play will be called “Slammer Slut Soiree, A Requiem if Four Acts”
See you there.